Submit a Caption!

Have you noticed our "The Bloggers" sidebar on this page? Well, yesterday Amy and I discussed ideas to reinvent it. I have a new haircut, after all, and Amy...well, there are a lot of pretty pictures of Amy, and they all deserve a fair shot, right?

The problem is, when it came to looking for potential pictures, we were a bit shorthanded on "serious" ones. The ones our mums and grandmums would be proud of. There was, however, a surplus of goofy pictures that our families would be less than thrilled about. I'll show you just what I mean.

This is what we came up with:

Less than flattering, right? While we're the fun-loving type that don't take ourselves too seriously, we also realize that this sort of silliness is just what make our readers question our credibility (and indeed, our sanity). So, instead of posting this as our new "The Bloggers" banner, we decided to post it here and encourage you guys to comment with your caption ideas! Simply post a comment with your caption idea, with the "box number" in front of it. Here's a "map" to show you the box numbers:

Example:

Box 2: "Hello, fabric gods? I'm listening!"

Don't be shy - Have at it! To add some pizazz to the whole thing, when you leave your comment, we'll automatically enter your name in next Monday's Moocher Monday giveaway (prize to be announced...but it's gonna be a good one)! Just leave an email address where we can contact you if you're the winner. Huzzah!


-Blythe
on my blip: The Union Line's "Pearls"

Free Agency Drama

I've been faithfully keeping up with my favorite blogs and sports news sites to stay up to date on all the latest draft and free agency drama in the NBA, the Marsha Brady of sports, and it's less popular and less attractive sister - the NHL, the Jan Brady of sports. First, I'd like to point out that if you're looking for drama, forget Jersey Shore or The Hills or the new season of Real World and just tune into the spectacle that is the NBA free agency. Where will Lebron go? Will Dwayne Wayde and Chris Bosh go with him? And for us Lakers fans: Will the Lakers stop lowballing Derek Fisher? Will Shannon Brown resign? Will Adam Morrisson return? I mean who's going to chase the loose balls and restock the basketball racks?! The NHL free agency theatrics are just as nail biting for Ducks fans: Will Teemu Selanne come back after all? Will Bobby Ryan stay with the Ducks? And on it goes. I need a Tums just thinking about it.

In a time of such uncertainty, it's nice to know that I can count on two things:

[ Phil is back! Photo by Christian Peterson, Getty Images. ]

1. Phil Jackson is coming back to the Lakers. Looks like another Lakers three-year reign is in our future! I can see Kobe now - the Larry O'Brien hoisted high in one hand, the 2011 Finals MVP trophy in the other while awkwardly trying to lift up six fingers. 

[18 year old Etem in his shiny new Ducks uniform.]

2. The Ducks hit it big with 1st round draft pic and local Long Beach native, Emerson Etem. The quick center was just as happy to join the Ducks as the Ducks were to have him. "I couldn't have fallen to a better organization. They're just all class," said Etem. "With the Ducks picking me, a California-born hockey player, I just have so much opportunity. It couldn't be a better fit for me." Emerson finished out the 09-10 Season with 37 goals, 28 assists, 65 points, and 28 PIM in 72 games with Junior League team the Medicine Hat Tigers. Not too shabby.

Here's a little about Etem, courtesy of the official Ducks site. Seems like a well rounded young man with excellent taste... well excepting the Ke$ha reference.

EMERSON ETEM'S FAVORITES

NHL Player: Ilya Kovalchuk
Shootout move: “Around the Puck”
Goal celebration: “Stick in the air”
Movie: Life is Beautiful, Happy Gilmore
TV Show: Family Guy
Actor: Will Ferrell
Music Group: Bad Religion
Website: NHL.com
Book: Catcher in the Rye 
Pump-up song: “Tick Tock” by Ke$ha
Home cooked meal: Anything Mexican
Activities away from the rink: Surfing, Soccer, Basketball

Don't forget to check out our Calendar by clicking here to see where you can celebrate the birth of our country in true American fashion, by blowing stuff up!

Cheers friends!

- Amy

On my iTunes: Arctic Monkeys' "Fluorescent Adolescent" 

3 Things To Lift Your Spirits

It’s gloomy. It’s spitter spatter raining - not even a good, solid, water-the-earth and hand me a hot cocoa kind of rain. Just that drizzle of misery. But perk up folks! Don’t know how? Here are 3 suggestions to lift your spirits.

1. Shannon Brown’s Almost-Dunk In Last Night’s Game

[Check out Kobe's face]

What has more lift for your lull than Shannon Brown’s moonwalk practically over the top of Suns’ Jason Richardson? It was just delightful. My favorite sports blogger Trey Kerby, on his blog Ball Don’t Lie, said “Shannon looks like he just took off. Not just for a dunk, mind you, but for the first human flight in world history.”

Marv Albert's commentary on the scene: "I actually thought he was going over the backboard."

 Craig Kwasniewski of The Association blog, said of the launch to eluded greatness: “Shannon Brown brought down the house when he tried to Frederic Weiss (yep, he's a verb) Jason Richardson in the second half of the Lakers blowout win over Phoenix. The game was on the brink of getting out of hand when Brown got a clean look (or so he thought he did) at the rim and went for the ultimate highlight dunk of the year. Call it brash, call it front-running, call it whatever you like, the guy literally tried to jump over two-time slam dunk champion Jason Richardson and came *this close* to succeeding.”

2. This SNL skit.

3. Our OC Gazette in-house, handmade bouquet of inspiration. Cutting out our favorite heartthrobs from trash/gossip rags, pasting their heads on stems, and arranging them into a bouquet on Sara’s desk as a birthday present was the best thing we’ve done for overall office morale all year.

[It's blooming men...(sing to the tune of "It's Raining Men"]

Cheers,

Jen

On The OC Gazette Blip Radio: Buck Ownes & His Buckaroos "Act Naturally - Live - 1963"

Laugh it Off. A "How To" and "What For" of sorts.

I’ve been realizing lately that humor might just save us. Life can be pretty heavy. Runaway Priuses on the 5 and Ricky Martin is gay? I’m still reeling from Solitaire being banned from comps across school and work campuses in America. But Laughter will save us. The stats and docs second my motion.

Studies show that 15 minutes of laughter equals the benefit of 2 hours sleep (which means you can watch another disc of your Friends anthology tonight after all, providing you have a good guffaw tomorrow). One good belly laugh burns off 3 1/2 calories (which means you’ll have to watch Jerry Seinfeld’s “I’m Telling You For The Last Time” stand-up routine to burn off that double double you just christened with “animal style”). Laughing for 15 seconds adds 2 days to your life span (Which means it’s not wrong to laugh at those people who use the phrase “and whatnot” after every statement they utter).

Despite the off-the-chart boom in the use of the word “LOL” to cap practically every text message sent in the past 5 years - besides the “stop talking to me, creep” text, that is - our actual laugh rate is down 60% from the 1950s, and the commies aren’t even coming to get us! It’s time we lightened up.

Here’s a list of situations and observations that have made me laugh this week:

• People at Peet’s coffee ordering by Starbuck’s Italian sizing.

• The looks on the Peet’s Barista’s face when someone orders by Starbuck’s Italian sizing.

• Starting conversations with people you don’t know in your association Jacuzzi/Spa.

• The either pleased or creeped-out faces of your conversation victims.

• Watching 20-something guys with faux-hawks in Acuras taking sharp corners with their heads out their car window.

• Inferring as much as possible about someone by their rear-view mirror ornaments.

• Inferring as much as possible about someone by the coffee they order.

• Inferring as much as possible by what conversation a person chooses to offer in a Jacuzzi/spa.

Here are some easy ways to get your own laughter-fest kicking.

• Dance in your car to the point that the vehicle is moving due to forces other than the 5-fwy’s want of repaving. This will attract the attention of other drivers. This will make the situation funnier.

• Hug someone you usually only high-five.

• Reset your co-worker’s screensaver to an image of a pickle on a cutting board.

 

• Chase someone.

• Chase your co-worker in your office complex (this works. It’s funnier than you’d think).

• Turn everything your co-worker says into an innuendo by simply repeating their sentences back to them and modifying the emphasis and inflexion.

• Cast the film autobiography of your life. In mine, Jack Nicholson plays my dad and Daniel Day-Lewis plays my boyfriend. And he has a handle bar mustache. There’s nothing wrong with embellished reality…

• Read Esquire’s list of “1000 Things You Don’t Know About Women.” Here’s a sample of some of the listed wisdom submitted by local ladies:

No. 332: We notice what you have on your nightstand, and we draw as many conclusions as possible. 

-Catlin Moore, 24, Long Beach, California.

No. 902: Don't buy greeting cards unless you absolutely have to. To put it gently, it's an art you have yet to master. -Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California.

No. 312: There should never be rhinestones on your clothing. Or your belt. Ever. We are the sparkly ones. -Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California.

• Read that forwarded e-mail from your spam-happy internet-savvy Uncle Tom about bad woman drivers. It is pretty funny.

• Listen to an Alvin and the Chipmunks album.

• Pick up out of date, underused, or avoided slang words. My pick: the word “clean” denoting coolness (example: that turtleneck you’re rocking is “cleeaaaannn.”)

• Go watch the original Death At A Funeral before seeing the new one. I don’t see how it can possibly be improved upon, but we’ll see.

• Go see witty satirist, best-selling author, and NPR personality David Sedaris this Tuesday at Long Beach’s Terrace Theater. He’s gay, he’s Jewish, he once worked as an elf at the Macy’s Christmas gig. He can find the humor in anything.

“Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks.” – David Sedaris.

Event  is May 4th, 7:30pm at Terrace Theater, 300 E. Ocean Blvd. Long Beach, CA 90802. 562-436-3636.

Get your cackle, chuckle, or chortle going. A laugh a day keeps the ulcers away.

-Jen

On my iPod: “Love Vigilantes” by New Order. On my tele: A Reading on Letterman by David Sedaris
  

 

Thanks, Russian Crusher

We have friends. Real ones, but virtual ones too. And according to Facebook, the unofficial social authority of our era, our official 1000th friend is a man referred to by friend and foe as "THE RUSSIAN CRUSHER." Yep. Are you jealous? You should be. This guy, real name Alex Serdyukov, "is a Russian mixed martial artist from Siberia, Russia who has lived in the U.S. for 10 years," according to MixedMartialArts.com. Alex is now a veteran of the World Extreme Cagefighting (WEC) organization and holds WEC Middleweight North American Champion, Grapplers Quest Champion, Best of the West grappling division. He currently lives in OC and might even be teaching your kids how to throw down like he's been known to as he teaches tykes Jujitsu and other mixed martial arts at Reign Training Center (we know because our co-worker Paul Lopez's son had the honor of "Crusher"'s tutelage). Anyways, long story short, he's our bud. And he capped our goal of getting 1000 friends on Facebook by April 1st. And should we ever be slapped with the dueling glove, he's on our side. (Remember the episode on The Simpsons where Homer grows Tomacco because he gets on a dueling kick? Classic). That's what friends are for. 

["The Russian Crusher" reveling in victory. Photo by Sherdog.com.] 

We also thank "The Russian Crusher" for the excuse to use our newest OC Gazette Local-Themed Thank You Cards inspired by Dana Point Harbor Boatmen. They're designed by Gazette designer and blogger Amy Hood. Our digital thank you card to Mr. Crusher reads "Thanks Crusher, You're The Bomb. Forever yours, The OC Gazette."

[OC Gazette's Newest Thank You Card]

Thanks to all our buds. You're not just a number. We love you all and expect to have your children named after us like good friends do. 

BFF.

-Jen

On my iPod: "The Rainbow Connection" covered by Peter Cincotti. Who can sing it better than Kermit? Peter. It's so beautiful! Not really demographic-specific to this blog post but whatever.

On my tele: The Simpsons "E-I-E-I (Annoyed Grunt), the aforementioned dueling episode.

Video Games | | The simsons tomaco

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Dressember

Calling all our female readers: It is still not too late to jump on the Dressember bandwagon! What is Dressember, you ask? Well, pretty much exactly what it sounds like: Dressember is a month of dress-wearing. The idea is to wear a dress every day. It doesn't necessarily require different dresses (ie: repetition is allowed), simply that you wear a dress every day in December.

It started with a vision, and POOF! It became a reality. I dreamed it up a couple weeks ago and it's spreading like wildfire! Just look, the Gazette office is catching on:

(click on any photo to make it bigger)

United in our dresses we stand:

You can see a full recap by visiting my personal blog (click HERE).

We heartily invite you to join in on the Dressember magic! Email me your Dressember photos at blythe[at]theocgazette[dot]com, and I'll include you in our Dressember Wrap-up post at the end of the month!

Happy Dressember!

-Blythe

On my iTunes: The Union Line's "Goldmine" (they're playing at the Anaheim House of Blues this Friday, btw...See you there?)

The OC Gazette Press Week Survival Guide

It's press week again here at the Gazette. It comes once a month, just like many other unpleasant things, among which are rent, bills, and - well I'm going to stop right there. Every month it comes, every month we think we won't survive it, and every month we do in fact survive it. When tensions are mounting, nerves are on edge, deadlines are bearing down on you like the Grim Reaper, and the slightest misread twitch from a co-worker is able to set you off like Nicholas Cage in Face Off [Fig. 1], it's easy to forget that "this too shall pass." So how do we make it through? After many press weeks and much trial and error, the following are the things that have become holy writ when the dreaded Press Week descends upon us:

[Fig. 1]

1. Caffeine

All forms are welcomed. I prefer Coca-Cola. (It really is a problem, actually.) But coffee is my second favorite form, and probably my co-workers first. Peets [Fig. 2], It's A Grind, Starbucks; All of the coffee houses within a 1o mile radius of our office are well patroned during this week. The key when ordering a coffee during press week is getting maximum caffeine, but keeping it light. You've got to steer clear of the heavy, sweet yummy stuff, or at least go non fat on them. Otherwise the coffee you bought to give you a swift kick in the pants will instead leave you uncomfortably full, tired, $4.00 lighter, and 5 pounds heavier. My seasoned suggestion: A non fat iced caramel macchiato with an extra shot. They're tasty, they're light, they're refreshing, and they'll get you going.

[Fig. 2: Peet's off of El Toro is Jen's favorite dealer]

2. The Cheesecake Factory

We always treat ourselves to The Factory on the night of our final upload of the magazine to the printers over at Freedom Printing. (Shout out to Carlos, Mark and all the guys!) We get to get out of the office, remember what the outdoors feels like, remember that the world still turns outside of The OC Gazette, and get some tasty, tasty food. The menu is a short novel, so we always have plenty to choose from; Which plethora of options Sara always takes advantage of and Jen and I always disregard for our usual herb-crusted salmon with mashed potatoes. We're creatures of habit. I'm not proud of it. But salmon is very good for your complexion in my defense. Anyways, we always have the best servers (Shout out to the Osbornes and the Tengs!), and we always manage to catch a Lakers or Angels game which is a huge plus.

[Fig. 3] Nay for The Avett Brothers

[Fig. 4] Yay for Glasvegas

3. Catchy, upbeat, PEPPY music

When you're working long nights, close quarters, you've got to have the right music to keep you in an upbeat, efficient, and positive mood. Ray Lamontagne, Death Cab For Cutie, and The Avett Brothers [Fig. 3] are all forsaken for anything with a quick beat, catchy melody, and sing-a-long gang vocals are a huge plus - even stooping to cheesy tween pop like the Jo-Bros, as we like to call the Jonas Brothers. Anything that gets you laughing hysterically and singing along is good. And what does that better than embarrassing-I-hope-no-one-ever-finds-out-I-listen-to-this-sometimes pop music? Some of our more proud frequent listening choices include The Kings of Leon, my all time favorite (even outside of press week) Glasvegas [Fig. 4], Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, The Shys, and more recently Van Morrison. All upbeat, with great driving drum beats.

The December issue is coming soon, but to hold you over, head over to theocgazette.com and read this amazing interview with our favorite Elvis/Robert Plant/Bob Marley impersonator [and OC native might I add], Tortelvis of Dread Zeppelin.

- Amy

on our Pandora: Demi Lovato's "Don't Forget" (I warned you. Don't judge us.)

The Great California Shakeout

Today we joined millions of Californians in a uniting event. Earthquakes are as "California" as the OC Fair or the Annual Mooning of the Amtrak. Being as that it, we banded together yet separately under our collective desk for the Great California ShakeOut yesterday. Well, Blythe and I did. Sara and Amy had pressing work to tend to at the moment. You'll see Sara doing just that in the background of this informational video. According to the ShakeOut website, "The purpose of the ShakeOut is to practice how to protect ourselves during earthquakes, and to get prepared at work, school, and home."

We performed the Level 1 – Simple: Drop, Cover, and Hold On Drill. This drill, as the name suggests, is as simple as dropping to the ground, covering one's head, and holding on till the chaos is over. According to the drill manual (yes, there's a manual, and even an audio download with "realistic sound effects and safety information to play during your drill"), you should also be looking around you during the drill to be aware of falling objects and where things might have been displaced. Following is live coverage of our drill which felt very reminiscent of a duck and cover atomic bomb drill from the '50s.

In the words of the ShakeOut promo piece: Shake out, Don't Freak Out.

Be prepared!

Safe travels,

-Jen

on my iPod: Pete Doherty's Sweet by and By

it's Crunch Time at THE GAZETTE Office

Every month, our deadlines come together in a devastatingly beautiful union; all ad approvals, editorial revisions, photo retouchings, and contributor pieces are declared "past due," and everyone in the office seems to take on what I call the "hell week jitters." Despite Sara's blurred vision, Amy's cramped hand (an early sign of photoshop-carpal), Jen's waning sense of humor, and my own increasingly biting sarcasm, we always seem to be able to press on and make it through the week alive- and what's more, the magazine always seems to come out okay (dare I say "amazing?") in spite of the organized chaos around here.

While there doesn't seem to be a consistent "method" to maintaining our sanity around here, our chosen strategy this month includes:
- chocolate crossiants,
- Bad to the Bone BBQ, and
- Kings of Leon

And I'll leave you with this tasty morsel; a completely spontaneous -yet thoroughly awesome- picture:

A Baby Hippo!

One day this little guy will become a dangerous brute and a threat to smaller life forms everywhere (including us), but for now, isn't he the sweetest?

-Blythe

On my iPod: Kings of Leon's My Party

Office Shenanigans & Cupcakes

Although I would say our office is a much happier and lively place than Dunder Mifflin, office shenanigans do go on here as well. We here at the Gazette pulled our own prank in honor of our editor Kim's birthday.  We didn't match Jim Halpert's classic stapler in the jello gag on Dwight Schrute perhaps, but the look of wonderment on Kim's surprised face as she opened her office door to a wave of balloons was fulfilling nonetheless.  A good laugh was had by all... and to make up for all the calories we burned in laughter, we all partook in some of the best cupcakes we've ever had from Divine Desserts Etc. off La Paz in Laguna Niguel. If you haven't had one, you MUST. It has the official Gazette seal of approval.

- Amy

On my iPod right now: Dramarama's Anything, Anything