Submit a Caption!

Have you noticed our "The Bloggers" sidebar on this page? Well, yesterday Amy and I discussed ideas to reinvent it. I have a new haircut, after all, and Amy...well, there are a lot of pretty pictures of Amy, and they all deserve a fair shot, right?

The problem is, when it came to looking for potential pictures, we were a bit shorthanded on "serious" ones. The ones our mums and grandmums would be proud of. There was, however, a surplus of goofy pictures that our families would be less than thrilled about. I'll show you just what I mean.

This is what we came up with:

Less than flattering, right? While we're the fun-loving type that don't take ourselves too seriously, we also realize that this sort of silliness is just what make our readers question our credibility (and indeed, our sanity). So, instead of posting this as our new "The Bloggers" banner, we decided to post it here and encourage you guys to comment with your caption ideas! Simply post a comment with your caption idea, with the "box number" in front of it. Here's a "map" to show you the box numbers:

Example:

Box 2: "Hello, fabric gods? I'm listening!"

Don't be shy - Have at it! To add some pizazz to the whole thing, when you leave your comment, we'll automatically enter your name in next Monday's Moocher Monday giveaway (prize to be announced...but it's gonna be a good one)! Just leave an email address where we can contact you if you're the winner. Huzzah!


-Blythe
on my blip: The Union Line's "Pearls"

3 Things To Lift Your Spirits

It’s gloomy. It’s spitter spatter raining - not even a good, solid, water-the-earth and hand me a hot cocoa kind of rain. Just that drizzle of misery. But perk up folks! Don’t know how? Here are 3 suggestions to lift your spirits.

1. Shannon Brown’s Almost-Dunk In Last Night’s Game

[Check out Kobe's face]

What has more lift for your lull than Shannon Brown’s moonwalk practically over the top of Suns’ Jason Richardson? It was just delightful. My favorite sports blogger Trey Kerby, on his blog Ball Don’t Lie, said “Shannon looks like he just took off. Not just for a dunk, mind you, but for the first human flight in world history.”

Marv Albert's commentary on the scene: "I actually thought he was going over the backboard."

 Craig Kwasniewski of The Association blog, said of the launch to eluded greatness: “Shannon Brown brought down the house when he tried to Frederic Weiss (yep, he's a verb) Jason Richardson in the second half of the Lakers blowout win over Phoenix. The game was on the brink of getting out of hand when Brown got a clean look (or so he thought he did) at the rim and went for the ultimate highlight dunk of the year. Call it brash, call it front-running, call it whatever you like, the guy literally tried to jump over two-time slam dunk champion Jason Richardson and came *this close* to succeeding.”

2. This SNL skit.

3. Our OC Gazette in-house, handmade bouquet of inspiration. Cutting out our favorite heartthrobs from trash/gossip rags, pasting their heads on stems, and arranging them into a bouquet on Sara’s desk as a birthday present was the best thing we’ve done for overall office morale all year.

[It's blooming men...(sing to the tune of "It's Raining Men"]

Cheers,

Jen

On The OC Gazette Blip Radio: Buck Ownes & His Buckaroos "Act Naturally - Live - 1963"

Laugh it Off. A "How To" and "What For" of sorts.

I’ve been realizing lately that humor might just save us. Life can be pretty heavy. Runaway Priuses on the 5 and Ricky Martin is gay? I’m still reeling from Solitaire being banned from comps across school and work campuses in America. But Laughter will save us. The stats and docs second my motion.

Studies show that 15 minutes of laughter equals the benefit of 2 hours sleep (which means you can watch another disc of your Friends anthology tonight after all, providing you have a good guffaw tomorrow). One good belly laugh burns off 3 1/2 calories (which means you’ll have to watch Jerry Seinfeld’s “I’m Telling You For The Last Time” stand-up routine to burn off that double double you just christened with “animal style”). Laughing for 15 seconds adds 2 days to your life span (Which means it’s not wrong to laugh at those people who use the phrase “and whatnot” after every statement they utter).

Despite the off-the-chart boom in the use of the word “LOL” to cap practically every text message sent in the past 5 years - besides the “stop talking to me, creep” text, that is - our actual laugh rate is down 60% from the 1950s, and the commies aren’t even coming to get us! It’s time we lightened up.

Here’s a list of situations and observations that have made me laugh this week:

• People at Peet’s coffee ordering by Starbuck’s Italian sizing.

• The looks on the Peet’s Barista’s face when someone orders by Starbuck’s Italian sizing.

• Starting conversations with people you don’t know in your association Jacuzzi/Spa.

• The either pleased or creeped-out faces of your conversation victims.

• Watching 20-something guys with faux-hawks in Acuras taking sharp corners with their heads out their car window.

• Inferring as much as possible about someone by their rear-view mirror ornaments.

• Inferring as much as possible about someone by the coffee they order.

• Inferring as much as possible by what conversation a person chooses to offer in a Jacuzzi/spa.

Here are some easy ways to get your own laughter-fest kicking.

• Dance in your car to the point that the vehicle is moving due to forces other than the 5-fwy’s want of repaving. This will attract the attention of other drivers. This will make the situation funnier.

• Hug someone you usually only high-five.

• Reset your co-worker’s screensaver to an image of a pickle on a cutting board.

 

• Chase someone.

• Chase your co-worker in your office complex (this works. It’s funnier than you’d think).

• Turn everything your co-worker says into an innuendo by simply repeating their sentences back to them and modifying the emphasis and inflexion.

• Cast the film autobiography of your life. In mine, Jack Nicholson plays my dad and Daniel Day-Lewis plays my boyfriend. And he has a handle bar mustache. There’s nothing wrong with embellished reality…

• Read Esquire’s list of “1000 Things You Don’t Know About Women.” Here’s a sample of some of the listed wisdom submitted by local ladies:

No. 332: We notice what you have on your nightstand, and we draw as many conclusions as possible. 

-Catlin Moore, 24, Long Beach, California.

No. 902: Don't buy greeting cards unless you absolutely have to. To put it gently, it's an art you have yet to master. -Carolyn Morgan, 33, Irvine, California.

No. 312: There should never be rhinestones on your clothing. Or your belt. Ever. We are the sparkly ones. -Lindsay Coluccio, 33, Newport Beach, California.

• Read that forwarded e-mail from your spam-happy internet-savvy Uncle Tom about bad woman drivers. It is pretty funny.

• Listen to an Alvin and the Chipmunks album.

• Pick up out of date, underused, or avoided slang words. My pick: the word “clean” denoting coolness (example: that turtleneck you’re rocking is “cleeaaaannn.”)

• Go watch the original Death At A Funeral before seeing the new one. I don’t see how it can possibly be improved upon, but we’ll see.

• Go see witty satirist, best-selling author, and NPR personality David Sedaris this Tuesday at Long Beach’s Terrace Theater. He’s gay, he’s Jewish, he once worked as an elf at the Macy’s Christmas gig. He can find the humor in anything.

“Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks.” – David Sedaris.

Event  is May 4th, 7:30pm at Terrace Theater, 300 E. Ocean Blvd. Long Beach, CA 90802. 562-436-3636.

Get your cackle, chuckle, or chortle going. A laugh a day keeps the ulcers away.

-Jen

On my iPod: “Love Vigilantes” by New Order. On my tele: A Reading on Letterman by David Sedaris
  

 

Handmade Headbands

This year, I made a few headbands to give as Christmas presents to some friends. I think I made about ten of them, and (as with all cute homemade crafty things) was semi-reluctant to part with them. I meant to take a picture of each of them individually, but I feel like the holidays happened so fast this year, and I didn't have much spare time. I did manage to get these shots of the bands I gave my Gazette co-workers, though:

Jen,



Sara,



Amy loves feathers, so I covered hers,


Just an example of a fairly simple craft project, if you're the artsy type. Just beware of the glue gun- it bites! :x

-Blythe

On my iTunes: the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack featuring Karen O. and the Kids

Dressember

Calling all our female readers: It is still not too late to jump on the Dressember bandwagon! What is Dressember, you ask? Well, pretty much exactly what it sounds like: Dressember is a month of dress-wearing. The idea is to wear a dress every day. It doesn't necessarily require different dresses (ie: repetition is allowed), simply that you wear a dress every day in December.

It started with a vision, and POOF! It became a reality. I dreamed it up a couple weeks ago and it's spreading like wildfire! Just look, the Gazette office is catching on:

(click on any photo to make it bigger)

United in our dresses we stand:

You can see a full recap by visiting my personal blog (click HERE).

We heartily invite you to join in on the Dressember magic! Email me your Dressember photos at blythe[at]theocgazette[dot]com, and I'll include you in our Dressember Wrap-up post at the end of the month!

Happy Dressember!

-Blythe

On my iTunes: The Union Line's "Goldmine" (they're playing at the Anaheim House of Blues this Friday, btw...See you there?)

The Great California Shakeout

Today we joined millions of Californians in a uniting event. Earthquakes are as "California" as the OC Fair or the Annual Mooning of the Amtrak. Being as that it, we banded together yet separately under our collective desk for the Great California ShakeOut yesterday. Well, Blythe and I did. Sara and Amy had pressing work to tend to at the moment. You'll see Sara doing just that in the background of this informational video. According to the ShakeOut website, "The purpose of the ShakeOut is to practice how to protect ourselves during earthquakes, and to get prepared at work, school, and home."

We performed the Level 1 – Simple: Drop, Cover, and Hold On Drill. This drill, as the name suggests, is as simple as dropping to the ground, covering one's head, and holding on till the chaos is over. According to the drill manual (yes, there's a manual, and even an audio download with "realistic sound effects and safety information to play during your drill"), you should also be looking around you during the drill to be aware of falling objects and where things might have been displaced. Following is live coverage of our drill which felt very reminiscent of a duck and cover atomic bomb drill from the '50s.

In the words of the ShakeOut promo piece: Shake out, Don't Freak Out.

Be prepared!

Safe travels,

-Jen

on my iPod: Pete Doherty's Sweet by and By

it's Crunch Time at THE GAZETTE Office

Every month, our deadlines come together in a devastatingly beautiful union; all ad approvals, editorial revisions, photo retouchings, and contributor pieces are declared "past due," and everyone in the office seems to take on what I call the "hell week jitters." Despite Sara's blurred vision, Amy's cramped hand (an early sign of photoshop-carpal), Jen's waning sense of humor, and my own increasingly biting sarcasm, we always seem to be able to press on and make it through the week alive- and what's more, the magazine always seems to come out okay (dare I say "amazing?") in spite of the organized chaos around here.

While there doesn't seem to be a consistent "method" to maintaining our sanity around here, our chosen strategy this month includes:
- chocolate crossiants,
- Bad to the Bone BBQ, and
- Kings of Leon

And I'll leave you with this tasty morsel; a completely spontaneous -yet thoroughly awesome- picture:

A Baby Hippo!

One day this little guy will become a dangerous brute and a threat to smaller life forms everywhere (including us), but for now, isn't he the sweetest?

-Blythe

On my iPod: Kings of Leon's My Party

Mannequin Hands Find Good Home

Some of you might recall our previous post concerning our need for mannequin hands (If you didn't please refer to the post Wanted: Mannequin Hand).  To our pleasant surprise, we arrived to work with a package atop our desk.  Attached to the package, a note. 

"Just thought you gals deserved a "hand" for all the great work you do. Press release: Mannequin Hand Finds Good Home.  Love Jill". 

 For those of you who don't know, Jill is half of the dynamic duo TourBusLive.com (the other half is her photographer husband Gary) who write one of our most popular Gazette columns, Entertain Me. So we grab a box cutter (in a safe manner, of course - it's all fun and games till someone loses a finger), rip open the box, and inside...

two of the most beautiful mannequin hands a person could ask for.  Not only can you count on TourBusLive.com for front-row-so-close-you-can-feel-the-sweat coverage of all of your favorite local shows, but you can count on them to be the best coworkers and friends a design team could have.

How she found time to hunt down two mannequin hands between her intense schedule of concert hopping (this month you'll get the full scoop on the Joe Cocker show), setting up press passes, and all of her writing duties, is beyond me.

You can all rest assured that these mannequin hands have found a good home in the graphic design team of The OC Gazette. Our newest member of the design team, Blythe (second to the left) is still on the prowl for a business card holder she can call her own - be it mannequin hand or otherwise.  So if you got any ideas, let us know!

-Amy

On our iPod: Yeah Yeah Yeahs' Skeletons